You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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