we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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