did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
