I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
