The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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