What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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