The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
