i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
