these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
