Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
