Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
