her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize