so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
