I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
