can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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