What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
