i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
