Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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