Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
