I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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