i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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