dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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