I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i think my mom watched the whole time
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
