happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
