My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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