In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
