Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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