I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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