some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
last night I used snow as a chaser
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
