I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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