After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
...so i touched it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
