Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
