clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
