oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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