too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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