Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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