And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
