I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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