i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have surprise drugs for everyone
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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