I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
