I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
