There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
