when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
