We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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