Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
