You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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