I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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