I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
