If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
