i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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