We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
