i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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