OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
