At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
