He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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