we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just pee around me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
