Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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