so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We had to coat check the pizza.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
