he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
