It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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