sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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