I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
