'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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