Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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