Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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