I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
