Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
