Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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