everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Randomize
