I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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