At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
