Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
